Went to see "Crazy Stupid Love" on Sunday afternoon with a dear friend and found it entertaining, tender, endearing, "realistic" and heartbreaking. We were both teary as the lights came up and realized that we had both been crying off-and-on through the entire movie, in between the gales of belly laughs. Somehow, somewhere, deep in my feminine psyche there is still desire for the happily-ever-after fairy tale to be true. What is that? What's up with it? Why is it in there and how does it serve me?
I sat this morning with my morning cuppa joe and continued to ponder this question. What sprang to mind almost immediately was that it is about deep connection, or the desire to intimately and uniquely connect with another person. We perceive this as different from the connection between really good girlfriends, or male friends who commune like girlfriends (and I am blessed with several of those). This was exemplified in the movie as the ultimate bond between Hannah and ... what was his name... Jasper?
I recognize it as an ever-deepening level of trust and exploration ... and then the pinball game tilts, and I have to stop and reframe it. Really good friends do this too, constantly. Perhaps I only perceive it as different from the connection between really good friends; perhaps that is part of the fairy tale.
What's the missing piece, the honest desire? To know and feel known. And how do I get there? Participation. Engagement. Interaction. Involvement. Some very bright person said, "Energy Follows Attention" and another one said, "Home is where the Heart is". What's probably true is actually much simpler, and much more difficult, and was ultimately discovered by the characters in the movie ... relationships require constant attention and continual nurturing and both parties have to agree to fully participate for maximum benefit. But even if both parties don't choose play, it is still possible to be the love I wish to experience and then, because energy does follow attention, love is returned to me ... pressed down and still overflowing.
That's the way it works.
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