Because we can, 2Dec11

For some unknown reason, I was thinking tonight about a boss I had years and years and years ago.  He had just done something that affected our customers, and I didn't understand the reasoning behind what he was doing.  Being the bright young impetuous thing that I was back then, I asked him why.  He looked at me somewhat incredulously, shook his head sadly and said, "because we can."  I knew what he had set in motion wasn't illegal, immoral or 'wrong' (per se), but it just didn't sit very right with me.  And I clearly still didn't understand what was going on, and was also fairly certain I wasn't going to get a different reply even if I asked again.  So I let it drop.  Or at least I thought I had.

What I've come to realize is that I've taken his dismissive "because we can" and I've turned it around many, many times over the years since that day.  Most of the time, I remember that I have a choice how I handle any given situation or circumstance.  I always have a choice.  Even if I don't remember that I do, I still have a choice.  I have a choice whether to react to an incident in haste, or step back a minute and respond instead.  The tai chi practitioner in me knows that if I react thoughtlessly, they just 'got me'.  I have a choice whether to instantaneously feel disrespected or devalued, or try to see what's really going on from a larger viewpoint, a higher perspective.  

This doesn't mean I let people use me as a doormat, or that I go along with everything presented to me, because that would be silly, could be dangerous, and is often counterproductive.  It means, to the best of my ability, I pay attention and know what I am choosing and that I am choosing. 

And more often than not, I choose to respond kindly, or thoughtfully.... "because i can."  And I like that.  A lot.   

What if it's just feedback? 10Oct11

At a seminar I attended on Saturday, there was this one exercise that purportedly was about figuring something out, but in fact it was about how receptive we each were to receiving personal feedback from others to achieve a particular goal when we ourselves were stuck.  Most of the time I think I'm reasonably good with receiving feedback, heaven knows there have been plenty of opportunities.  This one particular activity though caught me by surprise.   When everybody else was getting help solving the puzzle, and lots of people were cheering and clapping as different people figured it out (always with help), I was trying not to notice that I wasn't in the circle, I wasn't figuring it out, I wasn't getting help and I was the last to complete the puzzle.  I wasn't happy about any of this.  When the seminar leader came over to where I was sitting and working alone and offered help, then within seconds of focusing on the guidance, the solution showed itself clearly.   The intended impact, though, had already landed because of my internal tension around this 'exercise' was massive.  And it got me thinking about my (sometimes) response to life in general.

What if it's all just feedback, information, or innocuous data?  It doesn't automatically imply anything about ability or competence or worthiness.  Shifting the perspective to neutral, rather than some historically-based judgment, it is just data.  Or as Johnny-5 (E.T.) would have said 'hmmm, input'.  Without any hooks, shame or blame, it becomes just information, just feedback for my expansion, awareness and growth.   That's a whole different take on the subject.

Hmmm.  Input!

The Night Sky, 3Oct11

I was awake this morning a little after four.  At first that disturbed me a little, until I checked in and realized that not only had I had six and a half hours of deep, sound high-quality sleep, I also felt quite rested and refreshed, so I got up.  And once up, I decided to go outside and look at the night sky.  I have always felt a kinship with the starry night, perhaps it was all those evenings of walking our family dog when I was growing up and we lived on an army base in Germany. 

This morning the moon had just set; the swath of sky immediately above my head was brilliant black and the constellations standing out in vivid contrast.  Venus, morning star, was brighter than moonlight, Cassiopeia, Orion, The Pleiades felt like dear old friends who had come to visit after being away for a while.  I realized in this crystalline moment, I felt inexorably... totally... at One with the All That Is and completely In The Circle.

Do you?  What pulls you In The Circle?  What pulls you out?

Its What You Do, 24Sept11

I've been thinking again.  Whether we actually create the events which occur in our lives is debated by some, and I'm not going to get hung up there, because there is a more important, and more manageable, idea I wanted to put out there this morning. 

It's not what happens 'to' us as much as what we do with that, how we think about it, how we respond to it, how we ruminate incessantly about it, etc., etc., etc. 

If I perceive that I have been slighted by someone and I don't do anything about it, except mull it over, it has a tendency to grow into this gigantic, miserable monstrosity, which is strictly a construct of my very busy brain.  So, to prevent this nonsense from happening, I have two choices.  I can try to talk with this person and see what's really going on (and discover, most likely, we were using the same words and not speaking the same language ... or maybe we were and there really is an issue to resolve), or I can let it go, really let it go, put it down, and get on with my life. 

It's seldom the events themselves, but it is what we do with them that give our lives great joy or great angst.  I choose joy.  Again and again and again.  I choose joy.

What's your Thrill Level? 13Sept11

I woke up this morning thinking.  Those of you who know me well, know this isn't much of a surprise.  Even the fact that it was 3 am when I woke up thinking isn't much of a surprise these days.  It just means there is a nap to be scheduled sometime in my near future, today.

I remember hearing a story, whether actual or allegorical I don't know, about a teen and her mother on a ferry crossing a large lake.  A storm kicked up and the teen was out on the foredeck of the ferry enjoying the storm.  The mother scolded the teen and told her to come in out of the storm.  The teen instead talked her mother out onto the deck to experience the storm.  When it was over they were talking about it.  The teen asked her mother what she was experiencing and the mother described her physiological responses, rapid heart rate, adrenaline rushing, sweaty palms... and described her fear of the storm.  The daughter then said that she was experiencing identical physical responses and recognized them as excitement.  

The I-Ching is an ancient Chinese oracle with 64 hexagrams.  One of the hexagrams is Thunder/Thunder.  In the translation that I use by Rod and Amy-Max Sorrell (called The I-Ching Made Easy) it expresses itself as "Shock, Surprise, Excitement, All Shook Up" and the description goes on to say "The shock of coming across something quite unexpected.  Scared and then excited.  First terror, then laughter.  The germination of a seed in the spring.  The stimulation of sexual arousal.  The subtle difference between terror and excitement.  Some enjoy the storm and some run from it.  What's your thrill level?"  My sister loves storms, her dog did not.

I tend to side with my sister and with the teen in the story.  As a rule, I perceive that things that raise my pulse are positive exciting events rather than something to be feared.  That's been my experience, and is my expectation.  But that's just me.

You Asked for It! 6Sept11

I've been watching how some of my friends treat each other and how the others feel about they way they feel they are being treated.  I've been thinking about what St. Paul says in Galatians 6:7 "... whatsoever a man soweth, that he shall also reap" (KJV).  I don't believe this applies just to how we treat others, or our own actions outward toward others or to inanimate objects; I think this also applies to how we teach other people to treat us.  

If we allow someone to appear to take advantage of us, that's our choice and it has consequences both for us and for the person who seems to be taking advantage of us.  If we resist someone who appears to desire to take advantage of our 'good nature', there are choices and consequences to that action as well.  Each of us gets to decide in the bigger picture, through our choices and actions, where we want to be on this continuum of choice and consequence, cause and effect.

There's also a tangent about how we treat and think about ourselves.  If we see ourselves in a generally positive light then we tend to get positive outcomes, and tend to have positive experiences (or at least we can more easily find that silver lining in the cloud).  If we tend to see ourselves in a negative light, that's what we get, too.

We are responsible for our actions, our choices, our decisions and how we experience what we allow to happen to us. There are no victims, everything is an opportunity to see something or someone in a new light and choose differently if we don't like a particular outcome.  It's all sowing and reaping and sowing and reaping again and again and again.

Eat That Frog! 5Sept11

It always amazes me how quickly a task that I may have postponed for weeks and weeks is actually accomplished when I finally just do it.  Today's story was about re-wrapping some insulation around some exterior water pipes with reflective sticky tape. The repairman didn't put it back together after he fixed the leak (that's quite another story) and I have been conscious of the need to do this inconsequential and gargantuan task for ages and ages but there was always something preventing me, it was always too dark, or too hot, or too late, or too early, or too something. 

As I finally steeled myself to go do it, and I realized it took maybe 3 minutes, I was laughing to and at myself.  I was also reminded of a great book I read several years ago by Brian Tracy called Eat That Frog!  Twenty-one Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time.  Now that 'school' is starting for me again, maybe its time to get it out and go through it again.

No frogs were harmed in writing this note.